Tonight I come to you through a waterfall of tears.
Right now they are angry tears. Asking how? Why?
I'm asking God to show me...I hear no answer, or maybe I do and don't want to listen, I don't know right now. I'm crying out to Him. Why me? Why us? What did I do to deserve this?
I know I didn't deserve anything. Its just the Devil trying to rear his little head in there...
The Bible says it is supposed to be a physical representation of the Holy Trinity and learning how to Love and Serve one another unconditionally. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.
Be Kind and Compassionate to each other, Forgive one another, Just as Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Week one of counseling has yielded nothing really. I just relearned what I knew already but forgot/set aside.
I don't know what he got from it, he isn't talking to me right now.
Ending with tears of sorrow.
Carrie
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, August 29, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Trichotillomania, AKA: Hair Pulling
What is Trichotillomania? (I can not even pronounce that)
Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-nee-uh) is a disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.
Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots, which causes significant distress and can interfere with social or work functioning. People with trichotillomania may go to great lengths to disguise the loss of hair.
For some people, trichotillomania may be mild and generally manageable. For others, the compulsive urge to pull hair is overwhelming.
(I linked the Mayo clinic site up there ^ )
I have a mild case. I've always had it. One of my earliest (13 years old maybe younger) memories of it, is plucking most of my eye lashes out!!! Youch! right?
My eye brows have been paper thin before, trying to get a straight line.
I still over pluck sometimes...and have to painfully let them grow back in. I say painfully, but what I mean is resist the urge to pluck and maintain a clean line.
I catch my self doing that with my eye lashes too! If there is one or two out of line I have to pluck. Or resist the urge to. Not really an urge but a compulsive behavior that just happens.
When my third son was born, I developed a habit or compulsion to pluck my hair out. I had a few spots that were BALD on my head. One was at the base of my hairline on the left side of my neck/head. I felt ashamed to put my hair up and let people wonder why. I thought it was stress, until I stumbled upon this disorder. I felt better about it, knowing it was 'real'. I thought it was all stress, overwhelmingness ( <--- a="" baby...new="" house...etc.="" kids...new="" not="" of="" p="" thats="" three="" word...="">
I 'grew' out of that slowly, my hair grew back.
Until recently. about a year ago. I started pulling my hair on my head again, right at the top. I had to part it differently, or rather a deeper side part to cover it up. And still it shows. I see it. Others may not. But I do. I am getting to the point where I may not be able to cover it up. It scares me, but I CAN'T stop!
I have tried occupying my hands.
When I realize what I am doing, get up and move around.
I change the way I'm sitting. I tried a squeeze ball.
I have also noticed my eyebrows getting thinner, and a greater distance from each other.
So I am hoping by admitting this, or rather publicly outing myself I can cope with it better, or lessen it, or hopefully stop it all together!
Do you have Trichotillomania? If so, do you have any techniques that you have in place to avoid plucking?
Or even if you don't, do you have any thoughts on how to overcome, or lessen my 'urge'?
Thanks for getting through all that.
~Carrie
Footnote: I do NOT eat my hair.
Trichotillomania (trik-o-til-o-MAY-nee-uh) is a disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.
Hair pulling from the scalp often leaves patchy bald spots, which causes significant distress and can interfere with social or work functioning. People with trichotillomania may go to great lengths to disguise the loss of hair.
For some people, trichotillomania may be mild and generally manageable. For others, the compulsive urge to pull hair is overwhelming.
(I linked the Mayo clinic site up there ^ )
I have a mild case. I've always had it. One of my earliest (13 years old maybe younger) memories of it, is plucking most of my eye lashes out!!! Youch! right?
My eye brows have been paper thin before, trying to get a straight line.
I still over pluck sometimes...and have to painfully let them grow back in. I say painfully, but what I mean is resist the urge to pluck and maintain a clean line.
I catch my self doing that with my eye lashes too! If there is one or two out of line I have to pluck. Or resist the urge to. Not really an urge but a compulsive behavior that just happens.
When my third son was born, I developed a habit or compulsion to pluck my hair out. I had a few spots that were BALD on my head. One was at the base of my hairline on the left side of my neck/head. I felt ashamed to put my hair up and let people wonder why. I thought it was stress, until I stumbled upon this disorder. I felt better about it, knowing it was 'real'. I thought it was all stress, overwhelmingness ( <--- a="" baby...new="" house...etc.="" kids...new="" not="" of="" p="" thats="" three="" word...="">
I 'grew' out of that slowly, my hair grew back.
Until recently. about a year ago. I started pulling my hair on my head again, right at the top. I had to part it differently, or rather a deeper side part to cover it up. And still it shows. I see it. Others may not. But I do. I am getting to the point where I may not be able to cover it up. It scares me, but I CAN'T stop!
I have tried occupying my hands.
When I realize what I am doing, get up and move around.
I change the way I'm sitting. I tried a squeeze ball.
I have also noticed my eyebrows getting thinner, and a greater distance from each other.
So I am hoping by admitting this, or rather publicly outing myself I can cope with it better, or lessen it, or hopefully stop it all together!
Do you have Trichotillomania? If so, do you have any techniques that you have in place to avoid plucking?
Or even if you don't, do you have any thoughts on how to overcome, or lessen my 'urge'?
Thanks for getting through all that.
~Carrie
Footnote: I do NOT eat my hair.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Weird Memories
I was out getting the kids some Klondike bars because their Daddy promised them some if they cleaned their rooms....( I wouldn't call their rooms cleaned, but at least they tried.)
....and was on my way home when I saw a Pontiac Sunfire. It's a sporty car. Every time I see one I am reminded of a friend who drove one, and the memory that pops in my mind is :
We were on our way to an amusement park and she was driving and there was a speed trap, she was pulled over.
That's what I think of.
Also every time I pass by that spot I slow down and check for police.
Odd.
Do you have any weird memories that pop up when you see certain things?
....and was on my way home when I saw a Pontiac Sunfire. It's a sporty car. Every time I see one I am reminded of a friend who drove one, and the memory that pops in my mind is :
We were on our way to an amusement park and she was driving and there was a speed trap, she was pulled over.
That's what I think of.
Also every time I pass by that spot I slow down and check for police.
Odd.
Do you have any weird memories that pop up when you see certain things?
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Looking back...
I haven't visited my blog in sometime. Been busy, forgot about it, had other things on my mind, etc.
I just posted, and was looking back at my other posts and was getting teary eyed. I am going to look at this one day and really sob.
I need to post more often about my kiddos, its a great 'journal/picture album'.
~Carrie
I just posted, and was looking back at my other posts and was getting teary eyed. I am going to look at this one day and really sob.
I need to post more often about my kiddos, its a great 'journal/picture album'.
~Carrie
Mommy Blogger?
Hey. Long time no see!
I went to see Mom's Night Out, Saturday night with a bunch of Sisters from Church. It was a pretty funny movie! Laughing almost all the way through, Tears were shed, from humor and from (not finding the word I'm looking for). Its about a mom who is overwhelmed with being a mom, and takes a night out and things just get worse and funnier from there. The dads try to take care of the kids, a baby is lost, shoulders dislocated, Bikers, Cops, Bowling... This is one for a date night. Its honest, morally clean, down to earth, and every mom and dad can learn from it and relate to it!
I've been struggling as a mom and wife. October last year was a turning point, light bulb clicked moment. Marriage was pretty rocky, not because He was bad or he didst love me, it was bad because I didn't know how it should be. There's alot of differences over the word in the Bible 'Submit', and to Submit to your husbands. The main point is that they are to be respected as the head of the household. I was used to running the show. I was mothering him. When I came upon a few books, (Power of a positive Wife, Marriage Matters and the Wife accompanying booklet, The Proper care and feeding of Husbands) it really changed how I felt about my position in the marriage and how I was wrong. (Hey I wasn't the only one at fault, He had his things too, still does, I still do too, but His aren't my concern, I can't change his, Only mine.)
I think alot of my views were because of how I grew up (I don't know if I use this as an excuse or what, but...) IT was just my mom, brother and I. My grandparents were pretty active in our lives and their marriage was pretty strong, but in our little world, mom was the boss, and me the boss of my brother. There was no man in charge. So in my own marriage I carried that over, I'm the boss. I made most of the decisions, and I tried to mother my husband. Which worsened the relationship I would compare us to others (still do-its really hard not to). I would watch movies and TV shows and get depressed that our life and love wasn't as special or perfect as what I just viewed.
The grass might be greener on the other side, but so is the water bill.
This trickled down to the kids. My kids, I love them, really do, but man is it hard to mother them. I'm supposed to be able to say something and them to do it. NOT NOT NOT NOT I have an eleven year old boy that is mouthy, nothing makes him happy, he likes nothing and hates everything. A 9 year old always right going on 30 little girl. A 6.5 year old boy that is considerably smarter than the rest of us and I am so proud, but he is getting disobedient and slightly off my good list. And lastly a 3.5 year old independent boy who wants candy every five minutes and makes me want to pull my hair out! I am a screaming mother. (UGH!) I hate being a screaming mother. When I ask someone to do something they grumble, complain, and stomp their feet. Makes me so upset. I don't know how to stop them, they don't respond to screaming but yet I still scream. They don't help around the house, They walk by trash and dirty clothes, they don't respect their toys, nor the cleaning I do. Whits END.
I have given up on their rooms, If they want to live like that, fine.
I am going to God for the rest. I am getting on my knees to ask for strength in dealing with the attitudes, the disrespect I and my husband receive from them. I can't do anything else.
I feel like a failure as a mom. I know I am not, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I know God entrusted these children to me. So now I feel like I am failing him.
I'm having a hard time staying Faithful. Our current situation, is financially unfit for a family of six. I could use some prayer warriors out there if I have any followers that pray, please do. I need to put my priorities in order. I am not acting like a Child of God, I am being disobedient to him. I need to follow is rules, how can i expect my kids to listen to me if I don't listen to God. Am I a disappointment to God?
I went to see Mom's Night Out, Saturday night with a bunch of Sisters from Church. It was a pretty funny movie! Laughing almost all the way through, Tears were shed, from humor and from (not finding the word I'm looking for). Its about a mom who is overwhelmed with being a mom, and takes a night out and things just get worse and funnier from there. The dads try to take care of the kids, a baby is lost, shoulders dislocated, Bikers, Cops, Bowling... This is one for a date night. Its honest, morally clean, down to earth, and every mom and dad can learn from it and relate to it!
I've been struggling as a mom and wife. October last year was a turning point, light bulb clicked moment. Marriage was pretty rocky, not because He was bad or he didst love me, it was bad because I didn't know how it should be. There's alot of differences over the word in the Bible 'Submit', and to Submit to your husbands. The main point is that they are to be respected as the head of the household. I was used to running the show. I was mothering him. When I came upon a few books, (Power of a positive Wife, Marriage Matters and the Wife accompanying booklet, The Proper care and feeding of Husbands) it really changed how I felt about my position in the marriage and how I was wrong. (Hey I wasn't the only one at fault, He had his things too, still does, I still do too, but His aren't my concern, I can't change his, Only mine.)
I think alot of my views were because of how I grew up (I don't know if I use this as an excuse or what, but...) IT was just my mom, brother and I. My grandparents were pretty active in our lives and their marriage was pretty strong, but in our little world, mom was the boss, and me the boss of my brother. There was no man in charge. So in my own marriage I carried that over, I'm the boss. I made most of the decisions, and I tried to mother my husband. Which worsened the relationship I would compare us to others (still do-its really hard not to). I would watch movies and TV shows and get depressed that our life and love wasn't as special or perfect as what I just viewed.
The grass might be greener on the other side, but so is the water bill.
This trickled down to the kids. My kids, I love them, really do, but man is it hard to mother them. I'm supposed to be able to say something and them to do it. NOT NOT NOT NOT I have an eleven year old boy that is mouthy, nothing makes him happy, he likes nothing and hates everything. A 9 year old always right going on 30 little girl. A 6.5 year old boy that is considerably smarter than the rest of us and I am so proud, but he is getting disobedient and slightly off my good list. And lastly a 3.5 year old independent boy who wants candy every five minutes and makes me want to pull my hair out! I am a screaming mother. (UGH!) I hate being a screaming mother. When I ask someone to do something they grumble, complain, and stomp their feet. Makes me so upset. I don't know how to stop them, they don't respond to screaming but yet I still scream. They don't help around the house, They walk by trash and dirty clothes, they don't respect their toys, nor the cleaning I do. Whits END.
I have given up on their rooms, If they want to live like that, fine.
I am going to God for the rest. I am getting on my knees to ask for strength in dealing with the attitudes, the disrespect I and my husband receive from them. I can't do anything else.
I feel like a failure as a mom. I know I am not, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I know God entrusted these children to me. So now I feel like I am failing him.
I'm having a hard time staying Faithful. Our current situation, is financially unfit for a family of six. I could use some prayer warriors out there if I have any followers that pray, please do. I need to put my priorities in order. I am not acting like a Child of God, I am being disobedient to him. I need to follow is rules, how can i expect my kids to listen to me if I don't listen to God. Am I a disappointment to God?
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
LOVE
Yesterday a friend.... Its odd using that word/term for someone you do not know personally like a friend, but its even odder to me to use the word/term acquaintance for a person. So I just always use the word 'friend'.
Anyways, I was reading a friends blog, and a sermon that I just heard came to mind, I typed all of my notes from that sermon in her comments...I hope she didn't take it wrong, or is mad at me for it. But I felt that it was relevant in her situation.
I also think its a pretty important topic for all Christians to hear. Because the way my Pastor preached it, and boy did he preach it, I had never thought of it like that.
So I'm just gonna copy and paste what I put in her blog:
Pastor Greg this past Sunday, were in a one+one series…its really good, I urge you to listen online (Week three specifically, but the other two weeks are just as good!), they are short sweet, and easy to listen because he is an amazing ‘preacher’.
Anyways this week was how to LOVE others you dislike, or even HATE. It was titled, How to LOVE others you HATE. Most important thing: We are not commanded to like others, we are commanded to LOVE them. No matter. Even when they lie, hurt, deceive, dishonor, disobey….etc…you. Something that he said: “We’re his kids and we don’t act like him” (silent room, filled with gasps….wow!) Imagine if we could vaporize anything or anyone we wanted to that bothered us or hurt us. Clear roads…Awesome! Bad boss…poof gone! Now imagine if God had one…yep. Listen to this: “Instead of vaporizing sinners or lashing out at us, God put his son on the cross for us!” (more silence and gasping)
Luke 10:25-37, Good Samaritan story. A Jewish man was in the ditch and hurt, beaten, robbed. A priest (teacher of the word of God) came through, crossed to other side of the road, ignored the injured. A Levite (preparer of things in Church) came by, same thing crossed to the other side of road, and didn’t help. A Samaritan (Jews did not like the Samaritan community, Jews can’t even bring themselves to say the word, they think they are dirty and lowlife people) came by and helped the Jew up and took him to town for help.
Question: Who is my neighbor? (commandment: love thy neighbor)
Answer: The one who had mercy on him! The one being the Samaritan, the man asking was a Jew, he couldn’t even say Samaritan, he said ‘the one’.
To love a neighbor:
1 Move towards the, on the behalf of God, get to know people you wouldn’t normally associate with.
2 Give to people, do something for the above person
‘Give to Him to give to them.’
There are three kinds of people,
-Regular average people such as family and friends. Love them.
-Regular potentially harmful people. People with addiction, alcoholics, etc. Have a cautious loving action, very clear boundaries.
-Just plain evil people. How to deal with them you ask? Attorney’s and guns. Seriously He preached that! People like Adolf Hitler. Its your civil responsibility.
Ok last thing.
We are the person in the ditch
The Priest is Religion
The Levite is the Law
The Samaritan is Jesus Christ
Powerful message isn’t it?
That's the end of my copy and paste. Paster Greg urged us to go to people this week that we woudn't normally associate with, and give to them. How about forgiving people that you have in the past hated...Or are holding grudges against?
LOVE people! LOVE!
~Carrie
Anyways, I was reading a friends blog, and a sermon that I just heard came to mind, I typed all of my notes from that sermon in her comments...I hope she didn't take it wrong, or is mad at me for it. But I felt that it was relevant in her situation.
I also think its a pretty important topic for all Christians to hear. Because the way my Pastor preached it, and boy did he preach it, I had never thought of it like that.
So I'm just gonna copy and paste what I put in her blog:
Pastor Greg this past Sunday, were in a one+one series…its really good, I urge you to listen online (Week three specifically, but the other two weeks are just as good!), they are short sweet, and easy to listen because he is an amazing ‘preacher’.
Anyways this week was how to LOVE others you dislike, or even HATE. It was titled, How to LOVE others you HATE. Most important thing: We are not commanded to like others, we are commanded to LOVE them. No matter. Even when they lie, hurt, deceive, dishonor, disobey….etc…you. Something that he said: “We’re his kids and we don’t act like him” (silent room, filled with gasps….wow!) Imagine if we could vaporize anything or anyone we wanted to that bothered us or hurt us. Clear roads…Awesome! Bad boss…poof gone! Now imagine if God had one…yep. Listen to this: “Instead of vaporizing sinners or lashing out at us, God put his son on the cross for us!” (more silence and gasping)
Luke 10:25-37, Good Samaritan story. A Jewish man was in the ditch and hurt, beaten, robbed. A priest (teacher of the word of God) came through, crossed to other side of the road, ignored the injured. A Levite (preparer of things in Church) came by, same thing crossed to the other side of road, and didn’t help. A Samaritan (Jews did not like the Samaritan community, Jews can’t even bring themselves to say the word, they think they are dirty and lowlife people) came by and helped the Jew up and took him to town for help.
Question: Who is my neighbor? (commandment: love thy neighbor)
Answer: The one who had mercy on him! The one being the Samaritan, the man asking was a Jew, he couldn’t even say Samaritan, he said ‘the one’.
To love a neighbor:
1 Move towards the, on the behalf of God, get to know people you wouldn’t normally associate with.
2 Give to people, do something for the above person
‘Give to Him to give to them.’
There are three kinds of people,
-Regular average people such as family and friends. Love them.
-Regular potentially harmful people. People with addiction, alcoholics, etc. Have a cautious loving action, very clear boundaries.
-Just plain evil people. How to deal with them you ask? Attorney’s and guns. Seriously He preached that! People like Adolf Hitler. Its your civil responsibility.
Ok last thing.
We are the person in the ditch
The Priest is Religion
The Levite is the Law
The Samaritan is Jesus Christ
Powerful message isn’t it?
That's the end of my copy and paste. Paster Greg urged us to go to people this week that we woudn't normally associate with, and give to them. How about forgiving people that you have in the past hated...Or are holding grudges against?
LOVE people! LOVE!
~Carrie
Monday, December 30, 2013
New Year 2014
Well Hello there. Its been a long while hasn't it?
A lot has taken place with our little family since my computer died.
The months without it were nice. Its hard getting used to a computer after having none and only my kindle for the internet.
I'm still trying to figure out this new computer. It has a touch screen! Windows 8.
Two kids had Birthdays. Youngest turned three and MEAN and doesn't listen! Man is keeping me on my toes!
We hatched 6 chicken eggs. 3 were hens three were roosters. I had to give up my roo's as they were noisey!!! Didn't want my neighbors getting mad. My Coop was attacked one night by an opossum, I lost a hen, her name was Charlotte. I cried like a baby. I cuddled the other two that night, and secured their coop the next day. They started laying eggs!!!! Santa brought two more chickens. My girls don't like them. I also just picked up a pair of chicks, Lavender Orpingtons. I love the orpington breed. They are so cute!!! ( I think they are a pair, I am hoping), so we can get and sell hatching eggs fro them! They are expensive birds!
Thanksgiving was fun. My dad and brother came down, we went to Daytona, and Orlando. Spent a day at Universal Studios. Kids enjoyed visiting, me too.
Christmas came and went. I had very little holiday spirit this year, it sucked, BIG TIME.
Now its almost the start of a new year. there are so many things I want to do this year, for myself, with my family.
Hope you all have a great safe New Years eve and Day!
God Bless!
~Carrie
A lot has taken place with our little family since my computer died.
The months without it were nice. Its hard getting used to a computer after having none and only my kindle for the internet.
I'm still trying to figure out this new computer. It has a touch screen! Windows 8.
Two kids had Birthdays. Youngest turned three and MEAN and doesn't listen! Man is keeping me on my toes!
We hatched 6 chicken eggs. 3 were hens three were roosters. I had to give up my roo's as they were noisey!!! Didn't want my neighbors getting mad. My Coop was attacked one night by an opossum, I lost a hen, her name was Charlotte. I cried like a baby. I cuddled the other two that night, and secured their coop the next day. They started laying eggs!!!! Santa brought two more chickens. My girls don't like them. I also just picked up a pair of chicks, Lavender Orpingtons. I love the orpington breed. They are so cute!!! ( I think they are a pair, I am hoping), so we can get and sell hatching eggs fro them! They are expensive birds!
Thanksgiving was fun. My dad and brother came down, we went to Daytona, and Orlando. Spent a day at Universal Studios. Kids enjoyed visiting, me too.
Christmas came and went. I had very little holiday spirit this year, it sucked, BIG TIME.
Now its almost the start of a new year. there are so many things I want to do this year, for myself, with my family.
Hope you all have a great safe New Years eve and Day!
God Bless!
~Carrie
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Well hello there....
Friend. :D
Its been awhile.
So my last post I flunked my challenge's and that I was planning this huge summer full of things to do with the kids.
*I did pretty well until the last week of June, when my husband came home and told me he was laid off.
I was upset, or panicked. I held it together. We did the unemployment, food stamps, Medicaid, searching for jobs non stop, he was doing anything he could (well to a point ;) ) to make some money. My whole calendar of events stopped, dead.
He came with me and the kids to our Sarasota trip in mid July. He got a job. Our dog got sick. I LOST it! Friends, I completely went insane! I was angry, depression reared its ugly head again, anxiety hit, panic feelings. During his whole time off I was happy, it was nice to have him home, but something inside me went BOOM, on Thursday July 18 2013. I snapped. I was giving the dog a bath, at my moms house for the second time in two days. I didn't get to do any of the things I had wanted to do while there, because he was out on interviews and such. Praise the Lord he got one.
We contemplated moving, or rather being evicted since we were not going to have Aug 1st's rent. We talked with the landlord's, they let us stay, we just have to make it up, again, PTL!
I went to see a doctor on Monday the 22, She prescribed Paxil for me. I have been taking it now since that day, so almost a month, I see a little improvement. Hoping for more.
Kevin has been working for almost two weeks now back to our reg routine. I have had my off days, and have had a few good days (FEW). ITs getting better. As long as I GET UP OUT OF BED in the mornings, get dressed, and do something, if not I'm not worth anything.
There are twelve more days left until school starts back up again. I CAN NOT wait!
I am really ready to get back into a routine with school and stuff. (the quiet non fighting time will be really nice too) I will only have one kid at home this year. WOW! My little Parker is starting Kindergarten this year! I am sad but not, he went to VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarten) last year, he is more than ready for school!
I'm nervous about Riley this year. He is so immature and so much farther behind than kids his age. Contemplating putting him back on ADD meds to see if there is an improvement in school work. We took him off because they weren't affecting it and I didn't want to increase, because they already made him zombie like. So I guess we will have to decide on another medicine.
TMI: I am battling a case of Plantar warts on my two year olds feet! Gross! Eeew! Ick! He has several on the heel and two on the ball of one foot and then one on the heel of the other foot. Freezing has not worked, his doctor, wait for it, his doctor has told me to use duct tape! LOL. I had read that online, but come on really?? Well this is night two of him having duct tape on 24-7. Tomorrow we are going to bathe, scrub, freeze, and tape again. Hopefully this does the trick!
Today, because I saw it on pinterest, I stuck my feet in a weird solution of 1/2 cup Listerine, 1/2 cup vinegar and 1 cup hot water, for ten minutes. Then the dead skin is supposed to peel off....it didn't, but I did Pumice it off a bit easier than without the soak. Worth the ten minute soak and nasty smell... NO!
OOOOOOO We Hatched Chickens!!! We, I mean I am the proud mother to six chickens. :) So cute.
Riley went on his first plane ride! From Florida to Seattle Washington! Corner to corner! He did really well, He was homesick, but nothing you wouldn't expect from a ten year old across the country from his parents. He flew to visit my brother and sister in law. He really enjoyed himself. I missed him too. Not five minutes into the car after I picked him up : "Mom she is kicking my seat" Oy! I had a two hour drive home. It wasn't fabulous! It was mid freak out too *see above*
Its been awhile.
So my last post I flunked my challenge's and that I was planning this huge summer full of things to do with the kids.
*I did pretty well until the last week of June, when my husband came home and told me he was laid off.
I was upset, or panicked. I held it together. We did the unemployment, food stamps, Medicaid, searching for jobs non stop, he was doing anything he could (well to a point ;) ) to make some money. My whole calendar of events stopped, dead.
He came with me and the kids to our Sarasota trip in mid July. He got a job. Our dog got sick. I LOST it! Friends, I completely went insane! I was angry, depression reared its ugly head again, anxiety hit, panic feelings. During his whole time off I was happy, it was nice to have him home, but something inside me went BOOM, on Thursday July 18 2013. I snapped. I was giving the dog a bath, at my moms house for the second time in two days. I didn't get to do any of the things I had wanted to do while there, because he was out on interviews and such. Praise the Lord he got one.
We contemplated moving, or rather being evicted since we were not going to have Aug 1st's rent. We talked with the landlord's, they let us stay, we just have to make it up, again, PTL!
I went to see a doctor on Monday the 22, She prescribed Paxil for me. I have been taking it now since that day, so almost a month, I see a little improvement. Hoping for more.
Kevin has been working for almost two weeks now back to our reg routine. I have had my off days, and have had a few good days (FEW). ITs getting better. As long as I GET UP OUT OF BED in the mornings, get dressed, and do something, if not I'm not worth anything.
There are twelve more days left until school starts back up again. I CAN NOT wait!
I am really ready to get back into a routine with school and stuff. (the quiet non fighting time will be really nice too) I will only have one kid at home this year. WOW! My little Parker is starting Kindergarten this year! I am sad but not, he went to VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarten) last year, he is more than ready for school!
I'm nervous about Riley this year. He is so immature and so much farther behind than kids his age. Contemplating putting him back on ADD meds to see if there is an improvement in school work. We took him off because they weren't affecting it and I didn't want to increase, because they already made him zombie like. So I guess we will have to decide on another medicine.
TMI: I am battling a case of Plantar warts on my two year olds feet! Gross! Eeew! Ick! He has several on the heel and two on the ball of one foot and then one on the heel of the other foot. Freezing has not worked, his doctor, wait for it, his doctor has told me to use duct tape! LOL. I had read that online, but come on really?? Well this is night two of him having duct tape on 24-7. Tomorrow we are going to bathe, scrub, freeze, and tape again. Hopefully this does the trick!
Today, because I saw it on pinterest, I stuck my feet in a weird solution of 1/2 cup Listerine, 1/2 cup vinegar and 1 cup hot water, for ten minutes. Then the dead skin is supposed to peel off....it didn't, but I did Pumice it off a bit easier than without the soak. Worth the ten minute soak and nasty smell... NO!
OOOOOOO We Hatched Chickens!!! We, I mean I am the proud mother to six chickens. :) So cute.
Little fluff balls!
Zip tie'ing them so I can tell who is who. This is Roostette, she or he is mine :)
Oooh little Chickadie's are getting feathers!
Why Hello there ma'am. This is one of the definite hens.
This is Roostette. She/He is the loudest, used to pace the box and peep loudly!
This is Valentine, she is our baby, the littlest, the last to hatch. She is the sweetest looking thing!
Waiting for big bro to get off plane!
Big smile, I have returned, it says! LOL
Leaving...
That's about it. See ya on the go around.
Carrie
PS Sale over in my shop! Half off everything! www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Odds and Ends
Oh lookie there, I dropped the ball again on the posting. Whoops.
My brother comes in today. He's going to be here for two weeks. Yay!
Also I have been working very hard organizing Summer break for my kids. Its filled with activities and trips (free or very low cost and close to home), Parks and trails, water fun, library trips, and much more! I can not wait!
I also dropped the ball on my challenges I was doing, the squat one and the abs one. I have been doing squats still but not the number from the challenge. :( I plan to pick it up again soon though. Also I have worked in lots of exercise this summer as well. I ordered a Zumba Wii game for the kids and I.
Hope you all are doing well. Catchya next post!
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
My brother comes in today. He's going to be here for two weeks. Yay!
Also I have been working very hard organizing Summer break for my kids. Its filled with activities and trips (free or very low cost and close to home), Parks and trails, water fun, library trips, and much more! I can not wait!
I also dropped the ball on my challenges I was doing, the squat one and the abs one. I have been doing squats still but not the number from the challenge. :( I plan to pick it up again soon though. Also I have worked in lots of exercise this summer as well. I ordered a Zumba Wii game for the kids and I.
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| June's Summer Activities calendar |
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| My Baby playing on the Kindle Fire HD |
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| Tryin' to get some sun on my pale legs |
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| Teacher gift |
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| Polish magnets, also for teacher's. |
Hope you all are doing well. Catchya next post!
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
Monday, May 13, 2013
Just some cows...
Hey there. Thought I show you some pictures I took a while back while visiting with my Grandpa.
That poor cow in the back looks as if she is going to pop!!!
Have a fabulous day.
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
Sunday, May 12, 2013
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
Sorry I left you hanging....I got sick Wed night and it was awful! There is a nasty stomach bug going around this area! All of use had it. Thank God The baby didn't get the up end of it and only the back end. I really hate the smell of vomit...
Some random pictures...
I kinda fell off the challenge bandwagon with the squats and abs because I was sick...I'm going to hop back on full speed ahead tomorrow though!
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
PS HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
Some random pictures...
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| Alfred, (real name boots) Neighborhood cat |
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| Alfred, (real name boots) Neighborhood cat |
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| Alfred, (real name boots) Neighborhood cat |
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| Daisy, she is one now |
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| Max, purely the devil's cat |
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| Max again |
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| Dog get outta my face or imma smack you |
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| Monet, he is so old... |
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| caught cuddling. Alley and Max |
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
PS HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
Friday, May 3, 2013
'take picture me mommy'
^^^^Thats what my little guy said yesterday as I was photographing myself for the before shots. (see yesterday's post)
He's such a little cutie pie. So independent right now. >.<
He's 2.5
He's my baby.
He is the only one that came out looking like me and followed my gene pool. Out of four kids.
(He's also the only one who didn't have a large head when born and then didn't skyrocket off the growth chart at four months old-like the other three) I think the big headedness was from Husband's side. Husband has a big head too.
Mamma loves you baby!
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
He's such a little cutie pie. So independent right now. >.<
He's 2.5
He's my baby.
He is the only one that came out looking like me and followed my gene pool. Out of four kids.
(He's also the only one who didn't have a large head when born and then didn't skyrocket off the growth chart at four months old-like the other three) I think the big headedness was from Husband's side. Husband has a big head too.
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| wearing sissy's 'bra' |
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| being a water baby |
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| didn't want in the picture wanted to push the button on the kindle himself... |
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| more water fun |
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| didn't want to leave uncle Bryan's side, me swim in water too |
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| favorite thing to do at the park. |
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Abs, Quadriceps, Hamstrings, Calves, & Glutes oh my!
You've prob seen those 30 day challenges floating around on FB...
Well I have signed up for TWO.
An abs one:
Looks easy enough right....(well at least day one does/did)
And also a squats one:
I started the squat challenge a day ahead of the abs challenge.
Now next you will find my before pictures. This is taking me alot of pride to post them here. ALOT.
I'm sore, it's hard to get up from a sitting position, heck....its hard to sit on the toilet even! My thighs burn like hell! No pain no gain, right? So there I bared it all for ya. Hopefully at the end of this torture I will look better and feel better about myself.
Oh I am also 'dieting', Watching what I eat, and how much I eat. I am drinking half my body weight in ounces of water a day (that's 115 ounces, alotta H2O). I took measurements as well and will share those at the very end.
See you in 29 days for results!
Pray for strength, will power, and motivation to continue for me.
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
Well I have signed up for TWO.
An abs one:
Looks easy enough right....(well at least day one does/did)
And also a squats one:
I started the squat challenge a day ahead of the abs challenge.
Now next you will find my before pictures. This is taking me alot of pride to post them here. ALOT.
(excuse my horrible pictures)
I'm sore, it's hard to get up from a sitting position, heck....its hard to sit on the toilet even! My thighs burn like hell! No pain no gain, right? So there I bared it all for ya. Hopefully at the end of this torture I will look better and feel better about myself.
Oh I am also 'dieting', Watching what I eat, and how much I eat. I am drinking half my body weight in ounces of water a day (that's 115 ounces, alotta H2O). I took measurements as well and will share those at the very end.
See you in 29 days for results!
Pray for strength, will power, and motivation to continue for me.
~Carrie
www.sassylacquer.storenvy.com
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