You say 'Diet', I say "D" word, W1

I want to loose weight, about 50 pounds (for now that is my goal, to get to the weight I was at before my first child). Here's what I did this week. FYI: this is a journal, it might read funky, boring, repetitive, or nutso.....I wanted some place to jot down stuff...feelings, thoughts, exercise, food...ect...

So now that I have warned you, are you going to continue reading? OK at least jump to the bottom couple of paragraghs and read those then, please, and thanks!

November 1st:
I forgot all about starting the day off right, until about 10 am. I got up and got out all the cool stuff I bought the night before, Frozen Strawberries, Almond Milk-Vanilla flavored, Bananas, and some Jillian Micheals Protein powder in triple chocolate.
         I added about a cup of the milk, 4-5 frozen strawberries, half a banana and half a scoop of the protein powder, blended it and drank it up, it was totally yummy! And it kept me full!
        I had to make my little man lunch (around 1pm), and that is when I thought I wanted to eat, so instead of eating a full on lunch, or something not healthy, like a PB&J, I grabbed some grapes and some dried cranberries. I ate a small salad with yummy toppings around 3pm and then a quarter of a stuffed acorn squash for dinner at 6 pm with a sprite. (oh and I just ate one square of the snickers squared candy bar-dang halloween candy! Whoopsie, but thats okay, all things in moderation!)
         I will probably have a small one serving scoop of Ice Cream tonight, I have been thinking about it all afternoon, so if I don't give in to the craving then I will sabotage myself later on with something else worse! I don't call this a 'diet' for that particular reason, for the fact that I will sabotage myself, just knowing that I am on a 'diet'.
         I am hoping by chronicling what I am feeling and eating during the day, or like right now, at the end of the day, that this will help me succeed to loose this baby weight that I have been holding onto for 8 years! Yes you read that right, 8 years, since my first baby....BUT, you want to know something....I had gained 60 pounds with him....so only having to loose 50 pounds after 4 kids is pretty good, I say, because that means that I didn't hold onto the pounds from the 2nd, 3rd and 4th kids! :)
          Over-all today, I am pretty proud of myself!  :)

November 2nd:
Today was a late day of work for my husband, so I didn't really get up and going until about nine, I ran out to the post office, and then came home and made my shake, Today I had a blackberry and peach, with the Vanilla Almond milk and half a scoop of protein powder. Yummy! For lunch, I had left over stuffed acorn squash (recipe) and some grapes. Feeling good today. Had a half of acorn squash for dinner with some veggie puff fries....and then the bad side came out to rear her head....I got into the candy bucket...I should really hide it....Or make my husband take it to work everyday, if i throw it away, kids will be upset....I should tape a picture of myself skinny on it....that way maybe I wouldnt want it so much, lol.......then I had a bowl of Ice cream, not a small one either....I'm kicking myself....I know I shouldn't but I do it anyways! *slaps forehead* I gues this was an bad day, my van had issues today too, so that didn't help me at all either!

November 3rd:
I had my shake today at 8:30, my stomach was already growling.....its now 10:30, no sign of hunger....its 11:57 am and my stomach is growling, time to eat....small salad with yummy healthy toppings on the way.....(right now its Monday morning the 7th of November) I have forgotten what I ate for dinner that night, oh yes now I remember, It was Mummy dogs....(hot wrapped in pizza dough to resemble a mummy)I had one. And I had a bowl of Ice cream....

Note: I remember having two shakes on thursday or friday, just because I wanted to snack and didnt want to eat badly, so I made a fruit smoothie....I forget which day it actually fell on theough.

November 4th:
I had a protein/fruit smoothie, they are really good btw, had no snacks until lunch, then had a lite lunch, one mummy dog. For dinner it was light also, I have no idea what we had for dinner...I did have a big bowl of ice cream, and 2 peices of halloween candy, bad night...

November 5th:
I had a shake/smoothie, for lunch a salad, and dinner was.....I forget.....I did really well this day, didn't snack, didn't have ice cream (of course it was gone by then, but I didnt go buy more) I didn't have any candy....good day!

November 6th:
Had a morning shake/smoothie, yum!  Had a bolange sandwich for lunch, my husband made it for me, I couldn't say no, so I ate it (it was on 100% whole wheat though) and then opted out of the bag of chips he gave me and instead had some grapes, and a tall glass of water. For dinner we had Chili dogs, I had only one versus two, like I normally would have eaten, a little pasta side dish ( I had less than half a cup of that) and some cauliflower with a sour cream ranch dip and topped with melted shredded cheese- this was interesting- two people complained about this, little man, and the hubby! No ice cream, one peice of candy. Another good day!

November 7th:
LAST day for this weeks journal. Morning shake/smoothie as I am typing....some personal problems are accuring as I type...but I am not going to let that harm all the work I have done this past week to get to this point. I think I am doing very well, I have made small do-able changes this week, snack better and less often, drink more water....


This coming week I want to incorperate exercise. Just something small at first, I might get out my Jillian Micheals 30 day shred, last time I tried it I gave up because I was so sore for three days after....I was afraid to go back to it, this time I need to do it, and keep doing it...the pain will go away! The pain was telling me that I need this, my body is out of shape....

Is there any advice you can give me to help me through this, or tell me what worked for you? This isn't my first "insert d-word", but Its the first time I have really stuck with one in the last few years....I'm tired of being 'fat', and having nothing the I feel looks nice on me in my closet.

Spell check and grammar isn't working, so if there are alot of mistakes, I'm so sorry!

<3 Carrie

PS, nail post tomorrow, back to my challenges.